Missing
by Sita Masters
Summary: Agent Ward POV about a missing agent that comes back into his life. Spoilers through "Repairs."


I made my way into Coulson's office at his behest. He'd asked to see me alone which wasn't a completely uncommon thing. But something in his voice was different this time. I closed the door behind me and stood in front of his desk. "You wanted to see me, sir?"

Coulson nodded. "Yes. Have a seat, Grant."

I hesitated, but sat. If Coulson was using my first name it meant I was in for comforting or scolding. I racked my brain to think of any situation where either of those things would be appropriate but as of recent, there were none.

Coulson came around the front of his desk, leaning on it and crossing his ankles, lacing his hands in front of him. "We're headed to Rome to pick up a possible new team member. This agent was MIA and presumed dead. It turned out she had survived with amnesia. After thwarting an attempted robbery a week ago, her memory came back and she reported to the local office."

I followed along but it wasn't making sense. "Why aren't we telling the whole team about this? Why are you just telling me?"

Coulson took a deep breath. "It's Winters."

The air left my lungs. Her image flashed in my head. A shooter had just barely got the round off, hitting Winters in the hip. But she was so close to the cliff that she fell. Her blue eyes locked on to me for just a moment before she disappeared over the edge and into the ice cold ocean below. We never found her body. And now I knew why.

"Grant?"

I blinked, taking in a deep breath. "Sorry." I shifted in my seat, sitting up a little straighter. "She's alive?"

He nodded. "Yes. She's been debriefed. And when I heard about her being alive, I knew we could use her. But I also knew how this might affect you."

No, he really didn't know. "I understand. She is top of her game." And it was my fault she was lost for two years.

"Are you going to be okay with her here?" Coulson was studying me. Maybe he knew.

I nodded. "Yes, sir."

Coulson nodded with me. "Okay then. We'll tell the team."

()

I stood in the back of the conference room as Coulson laid out the situation to the team, half listening. He was explaining Winter's professional background from her file and I already knew all of that. I knew she was a martial arts expert. I knew that she was good with melee weapons and I knew that she spoke the same languages I did.

"Ward?" Skye's voice broke through my thoughts. "You okay?"

I turned my gaze to her and nodded. "Just thinking."

She grinned. "Dangerous ground there."

I couldn't summon up a grin for her. "How long until we arrive in Rome?" I asked Coulson.

He looked up from the display. "May can have us there in ten hours."

As the rest of the team went their respective ways, I stood looking at the official image of Winters that was up on the screen. It had been taken before she went missing. Would she look different?

"Ward, seriously. What's wrong?" Skye asked, not having moved from her spot beside me.

I shook my head. "Nothing." Pivoting, I went to the kitchen. Maybe food would calm my nerves. I kept seeing Winters falling. I couldn't save her.

Skye sat on a counter as I rummaged through the fridge. "You know her, don't you?" she observed.

I pulled out some lunch meat and veggies. "Yes, I worked with her in the past."

"You didn't like her?"

I shook my head. "I liked her just fine. She's an excellent agent. I'm glad to hear she's alive." I pulled out a sandwich roll, focusing on my task and trying to keep my answers simple.

Skye reached out and snagged a pickle slice. "What's she like? Is she like May? Or is she like you?"

I had to think about that one. I spread some mayo and mustard on the roll. "She's more like a mix of Coulson and May," I decided.

She thought about that. "Not a bad combo to be." She snatched another pickle. "How long did you work with her?"

I sighed and set the knife I was holding aside. "Skye, I'd rather not talk about Winters right now." I turned to her, attempting to keep my expression empathetic. "I understand you like to get to know things about people but if you want to know more about Winters, you'll be able to ask her soon."

Skye blinked, pickle slice hanging from her fingers close to her open mouth. "Dude, did you sleep with her?"

I rolled my eyes and turned back to the sandwich. "I can't believe you'd think I would sleep with a fellow agent." Eh, well, if she only knew about May and I, then Winters wouldn't seem too farfetched.

She sighed heavily and ate the pickle slice. "Sorry, I know you're all Mr. Business with your fellow agents," she grumbled. "There's just something you're not telling me about her."

I finished fixing my sandwich and set it on a plate with some chips. "I just don't know how many more people are going to fit on the bus."

"Oh, good question. I didn't think we had any other extra bunks."

Crap. I had forgotten that little fact, too. I shrugged. "Coulson will figure it out." I took a bite of my sandwich as I turned to go sit on the couch, hoping to end her line of questioning. It seemed to work as I saw her head up the stairs to Coulson's office.

()

By the time we reached Rome, I was fed and somewhat rested. I don't think I actually slept, per say. I found myself remembering more and more of the time I actually spent with Winters. As we landed, I pulled on my jacket and holstered my sidearm, taking one last look in a mirror to make sure my game face was on. This was business and I needed to call to mind my training.

The Rome field office of SHIELD was smaller than I had expected. We all obtained our security badges at the front desk, save Skye, and made our way inside to the briefing room.

An agent met us sat the door. His badge read "Agent VanBuskirk." He was an uptight man, balding with creases on his pale face showing years of wear. I was still a good seven inches taller than his stooped form and my brown eyes met his beady green ones as he spoke. "Level seven and up only beyond this point," he instructed. Fitzsimmons and Skye were left behind as Coulson, May and I followed VanBuskirk in.

Winters was standing at the far end of the room, staring out the window at the setting sun. Her long black hair hung down to mid-back now. She was wearing a dress suit and low heels that would allow her to run if needed. She always told me to never wear shoes that you couldn't run in or kick off.

She turned as we entered. I wasn't ready for it. Her blue eyes were still bright as ever. Her ivory cheeks were brushed with a hint of rose. Her thick, ruby lips were slightly parted as she stifled a gasp. Maybe they hadn't told her I would be here. She stood straight, giving a nod. "Agents," she greeted, her deep, hypnotic voice resonating in my head.

Coulson stepped forward. "Agent Winters, it's good to see you."

She smiled. "I could say the same for you, Agent Coulson. They tell me you had a bit of a close call yourself." She stepped closer to us. "And Agent May, it's a pleasure to meet you." She extended her hand to May, who shook it with her customary nod. Winters' eyes then lifted to mine. "Agent Ward," she almost purred as she extended her hand to me next.

I shook it lightly, noting that her hands were softer now, not as callused from years of field work. "Winters," I managed to say without fumbling.

VanBuskirk dropped a binder on the table. "As you know, Winters has been given a brief overview of your team. I do have to note that since she's been out of pocket for the last two years, she may be a little rusty."

Winters let her gaze go to VanBuskirk as her eyes narrowed. "I passed the review."

He nodded. "That you did. But not as efficiently as you have in the past."

She let it go. She was good at not letting too much get to her. "I am sure that Agent Coulson will allow me to train while under his watch."

Coulson gave a nod. "Of course." He glanced to me. "Ward, why don't you assist Agent Winters with her belongings and get her situated some on the bus while we finish getting the paperwork done."

I gave him a nod and motioned for her to follow. I didn't give a single hint to the fact that my heart rate was accelerating at the thought of being alone with her. What would I say? What would she ask? Did she blame me for the last two years?

The soft click of her heels echoed as we made our way to the small temporary bunk she had been using there in Rome. Silently, she pulled a duffel bag from the closet, already packed. The room was spotless, the bed made, as if she had never been there. That had been the small amount of OCD that she had. Things had an order and she liked to keep it that way.

She glanced up at me as I stood in her doorway. "Ready when you are," she advised me.

I nodded again. It was the only thing I could do that wouldn't give away my nerves. There was plenty I could have said but at this moment, I couldn't get any words to leave my lips. I simply turned and began to lead her back to the Bus.

Fitzsimmons and Skye were in the lobby when we came out. Skye immediately stood and jogged over. "Hey, you must be Agent Winters," she bubbled.

Winters gave a smile and nodded. "I am."

My trainee held out her hand. "Skye."

Winters gave it a firm shake. "Nice to meet you." I knew that she was already evaluating Skye. Her mind was trained to assess anyone she encountered.

Fitz came up next, reaching for the duffel. "Let me," he offered.

Winters allowed him to take it. "Thank you, Agent Fitz."

Simmons flashed her bright, welcoming smile. "We're quite excited to have a new teammate."

"And I'm looking forward to getting back into the field," Winters added.

I sighed heavily without meaning to. "Let's go get her a bunk." All eyes turned to me, surprised at the exasperation that I had shown. I cleared my throat. "I'm sure Winters wants to get settled in."

()

I had let Skye take over being the welcoming committee and resigned myself to my bunk, propping my feet up on my bed and pulling out a book to read. With any luck, Skye would have her curiosity satisfied by talking to Winters directly. And with any further luck, Winters would want to keep assessing her new team and forget about me.

But then again, I did say that would take luck.

A soft knock at my door elicited a sigh from me. "Come in," I chimed, expecting Skye.

As Winters slipped in, she shut the door behind her, sealing me in with her in the cramped space. I sat up more, putting my legs over the side of the bed and setting my book aside. She leaned back on the door, crossing her arm over her chest and linking her ankles. "Hey."

I swallowed. "Hey."

Her eyes searched over me in what some men might have thought was admiration but I knew she was conducting an evaluation, seeing how, or if I had changed at all. "You're avoiding me," she stated.

I shook my head. "I just wanted to give you time."

"I had two years, Grant." My first name always sounded better when she said it.

"I... I don't know what to say," I admitted. "I thought you died."

She nodded. "I guess I did for a while. I wasn't me. I was a lost woman in an Italian farmland who spent her days tending the animals and trying to understand my own body. It was still able to move like a trained SHIELD agent but I couldn't even understand anything it tried to do."

I couldn't look at her, the guilt welling up in me.

I heard her push off the wall and soon she was kneeling in front of me. "It's not your fault," she comforted. "I didn't cover my six."

I inhaled, the familiar fragrance of lavender and sage coming from her. "That's what I was there for," I whispered.

She reached out and took my hands in hers. She always had such long fingers. "Listen to me, Grant, and listen good. There was nothing either of us could have done. We both know that. And we can go back and forth with scenarios all day or... we can move forward." She ran her thumbs over my knuckles. "You know I'm right."

I did. She was almost always right. I raised my eyes to hers and found no blame there, no hatred or lingering doubt. I saw trust. I saw compassion. "I know," I agreed. "It doesn't make the pain stop all at once. I watched you fall. I replayed that scene over and over till it became part of that dark corner of my mind that I don't go to anymore."

She nodded. "I understand that. I know why you had to do that. But now, we can pull that hopelessness out. We can throw that emptiness to the side."

"Madera." I whispered her first name like a prayer to make all of that possible. But memories were like broken mirrors. The cracks would never heal.

She pressed her forehead to mine and we both closed our eyes. "We move forward," she whispered.


End file.
